


Hux's Secret Garden

by Magicandmalice



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Apologies, Green Thumb Hux, Hux needs a hug, Jealousy, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Love Confessions, M/M, Millie - Freeform, Modified Mouse Droids, Post TLJ, Tech Savvy Kylo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-29
Updated: 2018-09-29
Packaged: 2019-07-15 10:29:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16061237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magicandmalice/pseuds/Magicandmalice
Summary: Deep in the bowels of the Finalizer, Hux has a secret arboretum. He goes here to relax, to forget his problems for awhile, and to tend to and cultivate the fresh fruits, vegetables, and various other plants he grows there. It's his private place and no one is allowed within his sanctuary. Especially not Kylo Ren.





	Hux's Secret Garden

**Author's Note:**

> This was created for the Kylux Mini Bang 2018. I had so much fun coming up with the idea and working with my artist [Epiimetheux](http://epiimetheux.tumblr.com/) who was an absolute delight!
> 
> Also a huge thank you to [Darthkylorevan](http://darthkylorevan.tumblr.com/) for being an amazing beta :)

With a weary sigh, Hux let himself slump down against the durasteel door that had just closed silently behind him. It had been an incredibly trying day- a trying week if he was honest- and all Hux wanted was some peace and quiet. Just a little time away from the chaos and noise and stress that came hand and hand with being the General of the Finalizer, the flagship of the First Order and the current residence of the new Supreme Leader. 

Bringing his gloved hands up to his head, he rubbed his fingertips against his temples in a futile effort to alleviate some of the pressure building up. A soft rustle drew his attention further into the room and away from his problems. He wasn't here to dwell on the next order, the next mission; no, he was here to relax and let his brain go offline for a little while at least. Even he needed a break at times and right now was definitely one of those times. 

Lowering his hands, he straightened up and removed his gloves, tucking them in his overcoat pocket neatly, then turned to the door and making sure it locked securely behind him. Keyed to his biometrics in addition to his own thirty digit personal access code, it ensured no one could get into this room other than himself and a handful of mouse droids-- who came through the small vents along the floors-- when maintenance needed to be done. And that was exactly how he liked it. 

He didn't even get this much peace and privacy in his own quarters, not with the New Supreme Child stomping in whenever he pleased and ordering Hux around.

“Light’s fifty percent.” Hux smiled as he watched the room go from it's normal bright, daylight simulation lighting to a softer glow. He hated breaking the timer cycle he had the lighting set on, but the harsh light made his head pound that much harder. Moving to the left, Hux removed his overcoat and hung it on the hook fixed to the wall; it wouldn't do to be discovered because his coat was anything other than pristine. 

Unbuttoning his uniform sleeves, he rolled them up to rest above his elbow, bare arms smooth and pale even in such soft lighting. Walking into the room proper, he went straight to the large wooden stand, built to imitate an artificial tree in the center. Its limbs twisted this way and that, extending up towards the ceiling and arching over the patches of greenery throughout the room.

“I can hear you Millicent, where are you hiding today, pet?” Hux cooed. Searching for another few moments, Hux smiled when he finally located his beloved golden treasure. Reaching into the cluster of lush green foliage along one of the thick branches, Hux pulled the Ysalamir out and held it close to his chest. “There you are. I'm sorry I'm so late today, but that's no reason to hide away from me. I even brought you a present for doing such a good job at keep away pesky Force users.”

Using his free hand, he dug out the dried fruit treat he had smuggled out of the Mess earlier that day. Even though his little Millicent had all she could eat here, he had learned early on she had a particular fondness for the dried treats he brought on occasion. Hux chuckled as her clawed hand snatched it away and shoved it gracelessly into her mouth. Tiny serrated teeth tearing it to bits as she chewed. “Always such a messy eater, aren’t you, little one.”

Turning attention away from his little pet munching away happily, he surveyed the rest of the room. The floor was lined with evenly placed rows of handmade clay pots and planters, filled with rich soil and holding various plants of all types, ranging from flowers, to fruits and vegetables. The room swam in shades of green and the occasional splash of blues and purples and brilliant crimson from the blooms.

His little arboretum, hidden deep within the Finalizer, the only place he could go to be himself and take a moment of peace for himself. 

Firming his grip on Millicent, allowing her to climb up and rest on his shoulder, Hux made his way around the room, inspecting each and every specimen for any damage or imperfections. When Millicent's weight grew too heavy, he placed her back on her perch before finishing his rounds, the repetition and silence of it all soothing the weary ache within himself.

Returning to the stand in the center of the room, he sat down on the artificial grass and leaned back against the wood. Closing his eyes as he simply breathed deep the sweet scent of the room, his safe haven. 

 

[Image 1](https://66.media.tumblr.com/d196c7d7b1bdbc04959559c672a31de2/tumblr_pffp9q0U661r9yhymo1_640.gif)

 

As his headache slowly abated and the tension in his shoulders bled out, Hux smiled when he felt Millie’s sharp claws prick at his shoulders as she came down to drape herself around his neck, curling herself around him to soak up his body heat while he reached up to stroke along her head and the ridges above her eyes.

Hux wasn’t sure how long he stayed that way, silent and still on the ground, one hand petting Mille and the other dragging over the artificial grass and synthetic dirt beneath it, not caring that it got under his nails and stained his skin, not caring about the passage of time when he had nowhere else to be for another full cycle yet.

Well, not caring until the loud chime of the proximity alert went off, startling both himself and Millie. The sudden disturbance caused her to scramble off his shoulder, thick, sharp nails, cutting into the nape of his neck as she kicked off with one hind foot. 

Hux hissed at the sudden stab of pain but pushed it aside for now. Moving quickly, he rolled down his sleeves, brushed what dirt he could off his clothing and hands before grabbing his greatcoat. Throwing it over his shoulders and shoving his left glove on, he grimaced at the feel of dirt being ground into the leather, even as he slapped the main power console to open the door to the main room, tossing a quick, “Standard lights five percent,” over his shoulder. Using his right hand, he shut and locked the door behind him before rushing to the main door that led to the hallway. Tugging his remaining glove on as he stepped out, not watching where he was going, he found himself running into something solid and unmovable before bouncing backwards and stumbling a moment before catching his balance and looking up to see what, or rather who, he had just run into. When he met the curious eyes of the new Supreme Leader, Kylo Ren, Hux almost flinched. The absolute last person he had ever wanted in this area of the ship had found him. He had place the proximity alarms in this hallway to avoid such an issue, and he was kicking himself now for not placing them further out in order to have given himself more time to get away from here.

“My apologies, Supreme Leader.” The title was forced through his lips, resentment still flaring up inside to know that he now served this beast, that he had traded servitude from one monster to another, despite knowing he was destined for something greater and that the title Kylo now held should rightfully be Hux’s. He was certain it would be a cold day on Jakku before he ever got over that.

“You weren’t answering your comm,” Kylo said, eyes flicking from Hux to the door he had just come out of. “What were you up to, General?”

“I am off duty Supreme Leader, I don’t have to respond to my comm unless it’s an emergency. What I was doing is no one’s business but my own,” Hux’s words were cold and flat.

“You respond to my summons on or off duty Hux, and we both know it. I tried to reach you through the Force and found myself… blocked… so I followed the last traces of you I could find and found myself led down here. Now tell me, you don’t answer your comm, no one knows where you are, and now I find myself unable to access the Force the closer to that door I get. I ask again, what were you doing?” Kylo all but growled.

“And again I say it’s not any of your business, Ren. It is nothing that will endanger anyone on this ship, including you, and it is my private business. So unless you plan on hauling me down to interrogation and ripping the information from my mind, and we both know you won’t do that since you need my mind in working order to run this army for you, I suggest you drop this,” Hux spat out. Standing up straighter and running a gloved hand through his hair to smooth it back into place, Hux turned on his heel to leave. He need a hot shower, something to eat, and then some sleep; the longer he stayed here getting worked up by the Supreme Baby, the less likely he was to get any of that before he had to be back on shift. 

“I could just go in once you leave. Find out for myself,” Kylo mused as he looked at the door once more.

Hux froze at the words and turned a frigid glare to Kylo.

“You could, but it would do you no good. You can’t access the Force, will never be able to in this area, the scanner is biometric and set only to me, and the code is a forty two numerical digit known only by me. If you decide to use a more… hands on approach, the moment you enter that room, you have sixty seconds to get through the second door, also set with bio scanners and a keypad with a different code from the first. If you touch the second door without disarming the security on it within that sixty seconds, or if you try to cut or burn through it, the entire room beyond that is rigged with enough plasma to destroy both rooms and their contents and not leave a shred behind, including whatever poor soul is stupid enough to try and get in. So by all means try it, but I promise you Ren, if you do and you destroy the only thing I have for myself, then if you do manage to survive it, you won’t ever need to worry about where I might stick a knife in you. I promise it will be dead center of your black heart and if I don’t succeed… well it’s not like I have anything else to lose now, do I? Death or defection begins to look more and more attractive by the day.” Hux sneered before continuing down the hall without a backwards glance.

Nothing he could do at this point. Ren would do as he pleased either way and Hux would know fairly quickly what he decided. If Ren did go in and triggered the traps, Millie would die and his little haven would be no more. A thought that had tears building up in his eyes that he quickly wiped away, but he couldn’t do anything about it right now. If Ren heeded his words, then Hux would sneak into the arboretum in the morning before his shift to make sure Millie and the plants were safe and all of the traps still set. Whatever happened, though, he had to keep Ren out. The man had already taken too much from him; Hux couldn’t allow him to have this, he’d rather it be destroyed.

________________________

Kylo watched in stunned silence as Hux walked away from him after that furious little speech. Once the General was out of sight, Kylo turned to look back at the door beside him, his curiosity burning about what it could possibly hold. A new weapon perhaps? Something that could nullify the Force would be impressive indeed… though Kylo was certain any weapon such as that was meant to be used on him and he honestly hoped that wasn't the case. After all, Hux had sworn it wasn’t anything that would cause harm to anyone on the Finalizer and Kylo hoped that included him as well. 

If it wasn’t a weapon then what else could it be? Maybe Hux was meeting with a secret lover; he had looked to be in a state of disarray when he stepped into the hallway, hair a mess, cheeks flushed, and still in the process of pulling his gloves on and a faint floral scent that teased Kylo’s nose as Hux had bumped into him. Kylo felt his curiosity replaced with a flash of fury at the thought of someone touching Hux. 

He was tempted, so very tempted, to try and hack his way into the rooms, but if what Hux said was true… he didn’t want to destroy everything until he could find out what it was. Nor did he honestly want to test Hux’s parting threat; Kylo did need Hux to assist with the running of the First Order, he could admit that. And if this secret of his was important enough to make Hux threaten to defect or die before letting Kylo in, it was something he would need to take great care in finding out about.

Deciding to sleep on it for the night, Kylo shoved all matters of the room to the back of his mind. He would figure out a way in, without Hux knowing about it, and he would decide what to do with any information he gleaned from it later. If it was a weapon, he would simply take it, if a lover… it was a high possibility that Kylo would kill them. But until he knew for sure, he would let Hux think he was safe. Besides, each second that passed that he remained cut off from the Force made his skin crawl and his nerves thin, moving away from this room and its secrets for now would be best for everyone.

Decision made, Kylo headed the opposite direction from Hux and made his way down to his private training rooms; hitting something for a few hours sounded wonderful. If he assigned an imaginary person that may or may not be Hux’s lover as he dismembered several training droids, well, who was going to know about it but him anyway.

_____________

 

Grabbing the sides of the sink basin, Hux groaned as he braced himself on his arms and peered into the mirror before him. It had been a very long, very sleepless, night cycle for him. Thoughts of losing his precious Millie and his beloved safe haven robbing him of the little sleep he usually managed to get. Leaving Hux to now stare at his paler than usual complexion and the even more pronounced dark bruising under his eyes.

Ignoring the vague nausea that plagued him currently, Hux grabbed his concealer and began dabbing delicately under his eyes. The product was only used when the wear and tear of his job caught up with him and he needed to hide just how bad it was for his health. Which if he was honest, had become much more necessary since Kylo had taken over after Snoke’s death; he would need to restock his supplies soon.

Still a bit on the pale and drawn side, but not to the point it should be noticed or remarked upon by anyone he would meet during the day. Moving out of the fresher carefully, head a bit light from the lack of sleep and food and the still roiling anxiety within him, Hux made his way to the uniform laid out neatly on his bed and began his usual morning routine. He was due to be on the bridge in fifteen minutes and still needed to grab some caf on the way. 

He had hoped to check on Millie and the arboretum this morning before his shift, but he had refrained from doing so on the off chance Ren was waiting for him. He just couldn't chance that, couldn't chance Ren destroying the one thing he had that was his and his alone. Just the thought alone made his heart hurt. 

No friends, no partner, no home to return to if he ever left this ship. All he had sacrificed for the First Order and he had never regretted it more than he did at this moment. In all his years of service, all he had to show for it was his position as General and playing babysitter to an overgrown man-child who thought he could lead what should have been Hux's First Order. 

No, he would die before he let Ren, or anyone else, take Millie and the arboretum from him. 

Straightening his spine and brushing lint from his greatcoat that wasn't even there, Hux turned to leave his quarters and start his day, whatever may come his way.

 

_____________

 

Nine hours.

Nine hours of tense muscles, anxiety and the nervous stares of every single officer and personnel on the bridge. 

Nine hours and twenty minutes before the first breath of relief escaped Hux's lips and the tension wound through his body started to unravel. 

Stepping into the Arboretum and calling for the lights, finding that nothing had been touched, that Ren hadn't tried to get in, he almost fell to his knees and sent thanks to a deity he didn't believe in. As it was, all he could do was rush forward, throw his great coat to the clean floor behind him and begin his frantic search for Millie. Cooing and calling to his beloved lizard, he gave a cracked cry of joy as he found her and brought her squirming body against his chest.

“Oh sweet Millie, I'm so glad you're alright. I'm sorry I left so suddenly yesterday, you must have been terrified by all that commotion. I promise, first chance I get I'll figure out something other than that noisy alarm, and set it a bit further out. Maybe I'll install several discreet cameras so I can visually monitor the corridors as well,” Hux murmured to the lizard curling up happily in his arms. 

Humming softly he made his way around the arboretum. Inspecting each plant and flower for tampering or damage. Though as he stepped around the planter containing the ripening Dorian Passion Fruits-- he must remember to harvest them soon--he jumped as he came upon four mouse droids. 

Not that mouse droids themselves were that surprising usually, but Hux had altered the program to ensure that they were never here when Hux himself was. No, what took him so by surprise was the fact that they looked to have been heavily modified. Small satellite dishes that looked like ears rested on the top of the droids with bent and crudely placed antennas which sprouted like broken tails from the backside of each, while the front of them seemed to have been fitted with long, thin arms, that ended with tiny pinching claws at the tips. Faced with the strange little droids, Hux felt rather justified in his confusion and the tinge of concern within him at the sight of them. 

Hux found the stillness of them to be unnatural, much like a child caught red handed at doing something they knew they were not to.

Gripping tighter to Millie, Hux took a step back, knocking a planter over when the back of one of his legs bumped into it, as one of the droids moved forwards towards him. The sound of the crash causing him to yelp in distress and jump, both actions apparently startling the droids and causing them to all suddenly dart randomly from their current places. Each unheeding of Hux’s slightly panicked demands that they stop and return to their power and programing stations.

Hux watched in horror as planters and pots were knocked over as the droids clipped table legs and missed swerves around planter bases. Broken shards littering the floor where they fell, dirt spilling and tracked through the room by the tire treads of the little droids. Thick stalks of green trampled and broken, flowers wilted and torn, fruit and vegetables in sticky, bright colored messy clumps amidst it all. Millie wigged loose of his hold and climbed up to drape over his shoulders, hissing loudly as the droids whipped by. Hux fell to his knees, a distant part of his mind noting that the droids seemed to be looking for something, even as his eyes began to tear and his breath hitched as he tried to hold in a sob.

 

A battle he lost as he watched a droid attempt swerve around a broken pot to late and slam into the tree in the center of the room, watched as the little droid sparked and popped before a slow flame built and started climbing up the artificial wood. The fire eating way at the dry and chemical treated wood as if it were then bits of paper. As the fire retardant sprinklers lowered and began to douse the room in the sticky foam, Hux let out a strangled sob and darted into the outer room to protect himself and Millie from the substance. Helpless as he watched everything he had spent so many years carefully working on, his own little safe haven, be destroyed in less than ten minutes. 

He wasn’t sure how long he sat there on the floor, tears running down his cheeks, Millie nuzzling against the side of his jaw as she tried to comfort her distressed human. What he did know, when he finally came back to himself, was that the fire in the room was out, and everything in there had been destroyed by either the fire retardant or the mouse droids. He heard muffled bangs on the door leading to the corridors, most likely troopers and repair technicians to fix the room and figure out why there was a fire and…

Wait.

Technicians… reprogrammed and altered mouse droids. Only a day after confrontation with a selfish overgrown child of a Supreme Leader.

Hux welcomed the fury that rushed through him. Anything to take his mind away from the despair he felt at the sight before him.

 

Coming to his feet, he made sure Millie was settled before opening the door, startling the personnel on the other side that had been just starting to attempt hacking the system.

“I would advise against that. Keep the door open and clean up the mess inside. If this door closes, everyone in the corridor will suffer for it if you try to open it again. I will disarm the security when you all are finished here.” Hux said, voice ice as he passed the group of personnel, uncaring of the looks of fear and concern on their faces as they looked from him to Millie, to the door and then back to Hux. All of his attention had already turned to exactly what he was going to do to Kylo when he got a hold of him. Force tricks be damned, Hux would make him pay dearly for this. 

 

_______________________

 

“You utter bastard!”

Kylo almost flinched at the words Hux hurled at him as he stormed through the door to Kylo’s quarters. He could practically feel the hot waves of fury pouring off of Hux as he came to stop in front of him.

“Watch your tongue when talking to your superior or…”

“Or what Ren? You’ll Force choke me again? Maybe this time you will make sure to break something when you throw me across the room? Or perhaps you have finally decided to kill me? By all means, tell me what you will do. Because from where I am standing, you’re still the same spoiled brat you have always been,” Hux yelled, inches from Kylo’s face, eyes a vivid green that Kylo almost couldn't look at.

While Kylo had seen Hux angry before, it had never been quite this bad and he found himself unsure how to handle it. Kylo could feel in Hux an actual lack of fear of him and what he may do that almost took his breath away. Finding himself rather relieved that Hux didn’t have his little pet with him right then, without the Force, Kylo might have been more worried about whatever this confrontation might bring. 

“That’s what I thought. Empty threats and nothing more,” Hux sneered.

“Hux what…”

“Shut the hell up. You don’t get to speak right now. For once you can just sit there and listen. I warned you last night what would happen if you didn’t leave that room alone. Now, because of your selfish childness, the only thing I had that brought me a measure of peace, the only thing I could truly call my own has been destroyed. And it’s all your fault, I know it is. Do you remember what I said I would do if you persisted and anything happened to the contents of the room? Well consider this my notice of retirement. I will begin finding my replacement and training them up to replace me. Three months from this date I will no longer be a part of the First Order Military and I will no longer have to deal with you. I hope you treat the next General better than you did me or I hate to think what may become of the First Order. Hard to have anyone to rule over if you kill them all off or drive them away. 

“In the meantime, while you managed to wreck my arboretum, you didn’t harm Millie. So unless you still want that knife in your heart I suggest you stay away from me until I am able to leave. Otherwise, having a Ysalamir as a pet will come in quite handy when I cut you off from the Force and slit your throat in your sleep,” Hux snarled as he paced before Kylo. Eyes wild and chest heaving with each angry breath he took. 

Kylo watched as Hux reached into his coat pocket, his hands shaking with a fine tremor from anger, and pulled out a thin stack of flimsi and threw it at him.

“My resignation.” Parting words and then Hux was gone.

As the door hissed shut behind Hux’s back, Kylo felt dread build in the pit of his stomach like he hadn’t felt since the last time he had faced punishment at Snoke’s hand. He had only wanted to be sure Hux’s hadn’t been keeping something he could use against Kylo hidden. Though he could admit to himself in this moment jealousy at the thought of Hux having a lover had also played a large part in Kylo’s actions. Even now, knowing that wasn’t the case, Kylo still felt a low burn at just the thought of another touching his General.

No matter his reasons or the bad blood between them in the past, Kylo knew he had gone too far, destroying something that apparently had meant so much to Hux, and had only himself to blame if he lost him over this. He needed to fix this and quickly. He couldn’t afford to lose Hux; the Order would crumble without him, not to mention Kylo was certain a part of himself would follow Hux if he truly left. 

The only question was how.

Kylo could only remember a few of the types of plant that Hux had in his arboretum and the room would take months to repair after the fire damage and clean up. But if Kylo pulled the footage from the droids before their fiery demise he might be able to piece together a list of what he needed to replace. As for a new place for Hux to have his arboretum… Kylo had the perfect place in mind and it would let him him have almost three to four times the space.

Moving to his desk and grabbing up his rarely used data pad, Kylo started searching for what he needed to get his apology to Hux underway. He would need to mark it all as classified for his eyes only and green light it all through to get it done quickly, but Kylo found he was willing to do whatever it was going to take to get that heartbroken look out of those lovely blue-green eyes.

 

_____________________

 

Hux groaned as he threw himself onto his couch, the ice blue fabric soft against his cheek. The last two months had been horrible and Hux didn’t even try and stop the bitter thoughts that flit through his head as he thought of why. Two months of meetings, of plans to make sure the Order would stay functioning for a long enough time that others could be trained to take his place. Two months of restless, anxious energy with no outlet and a lack of sleep and food. And two months of suspicious behavior from Ren the few times he saw him. He was tired and all he wanted was to fall asleep right here in his couch and not wake up for at least two cycles. 

Soft grunting and a puff of air against his hair made him smile and sit up as he abandoned his thoughts of rest for now. Seeing little Millie lounging on the arm rest of his couch, Hux scratched under her chin in greeting.

“At least I know someone is happy to see me,” Hux murmured, finally pulling himself up all the way and off the couch. Scooping Millie up, he carried her with him towards the small kitchen area and dug out some dried fruit for her. Setting her on the counter, he watched her happily munch away on the berries.

Casting his eyes around the fairly barren quarters he had called home for so many years, it was still hard to think he was going to be leaving them behind soon. Another week at most and everything would be in place and he could leave. If he was honest with himself, the thought of leaving hurt. All he had worked for he was throwing away, but when faced with the alternative… working under Snoke had been bad enough, but with Kylo it was so much worse.

Snoke had been so much like Hux’s father in his treatment, doling out equal praise and punishment, that it had been humiliating at times. But it had not been unfamiliar, and Hux had been able to bear it all with the thought of how he planned to overthrow Snoke and kill him. One day. Snoke had been upfront in his need and use of Hux and Hux had known it from the start. 

But now… it was different on so many ways. Hux knew Snoke had never hated him, not like Kylo did. And that was the problem right there. The hate. 

Or in Hux’s case, the lack of, on his part that he felt towards Kylo.

He could take whatever Snoke threw at him and get back up and keep going because Hux felt nothing but disgust and contempt for him. Yet no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't find it in himself to feel the same towards Kylo.

Kylo Ren who had made his life hell since first stepping on the Finalizer.

Kylo Ren who had argued with him daily, questioned his command, and regularly damaged his ship and his troopers.

Kylo Ren who had now Force choked him to his knees in Snoke's former throne room and then followed it up by throwing him into the shuttle wall in front of his men. 

Kylo fucking Ren who Hux still couldn't hate when he looked at the bruises littering his body in the mirror in his quarters. 

Who he couldn't hate even after he had destroyed the only thing beside Millie that he could call his own. 

And that's why he knew he needed to leave. He couldn't stay and work for someone that he cared for so much and only receive abuse and hate from. He knew himself well enough to admit that Kylo would be his death and unless something happened to intervene, Hux could do nothing to stop it. 

He supposed it was lucky that the arboretum had been ruined as it had. That really had been the wake up call Hux needed, and decided leaving was the only option. 

In a week it would be just Millie and himself and he would do his damndest to forget all about Kylo. As a civilian. Alone.

It was a sad and lonely thought.

A sharp chime sounding through the room pulled him from his thoughts and had him snapping his head to face the entry door. He was officially in his off duty hours and no one ever came to his quarters. Send notifications to his comm and called him to the bridge or various parts of the Finalizer for emergencies, yes. But come to his quarters? 

“Enter.”

Dread and unease filled him as he watched none other than Kylo step inside.

“Leave.”

“Hux…”

“Get. Out.”

“Hux, please just listen for a moment. I will leave immediately after, just let me say what I came to say,” Kylo pleaded as he stopped several feet away, cautiously eyeing Millie who still sat on the countertop. 

“Very well. You have five minutes and then you leave or I'll make good on my previous promise,” Hux snapped. 

Picking up Millie, he set her on the floor to pet her, but she scampered away from the sudden hostility. He wasn't concerned about her going too far; everywhere within his quarters was within range to keep Kylo’s mystic bantha shit powers at bay. While he wouldn't actually follow through on the knife to the heart threat, he wouldn't hesitate to show him that Hux was quite capable of some hands on retaliation. He had been at the top of the Academy Class for a reason.

“Thank you Hux. First, let me say I am truly sorry for what I did,” Kylo began, stepping forward to stand closer to Hux.

“It took you three months to be able to say that?” He took a step away from Kylo.

“No. Words are meaningless to you, I know that, so I made sure that I would only say the words when I could provide them in addition to a more… visual apology,” Kylo admitted.

“Is that so?”

“I know you hate me and you have no reason to trust me, but will you follow me to the old holochamber? I have something for you there.” 

“...Why?” 

“What do you mean why?”

“Why are you even bothering to say you’re sorry? You never have before. Why now?” Hux asked.

“Come with me and I promise I will tell you. Everything,” Kylo offered.

Hux hesitated; he shouldn't follow Kylo. He should kick him out and put a stop to whatever scheme Kylo had planned. But he already knew he wasn't going to.

“Fine. But Millie is coming with me and if you do anything to hurt me further, then I will be gone by morning,” Hux finally said.

“Fair enough,” Kylo replied, backing away and going to wait at the door for Hux.

Grabbing his great coat and gloves, he quickly slipped them on before going to hunt down Millie, meeting Kylo at the entryway only moments later. Gesturing with a nod for him to lead the way, he ignored the look Kylo gave Millie again, the look of distrust and nervousness. Good-- let him have a taste of the fear everyone else lived with when Kylo was around.

The made their way quickly, silently, to the old holochamber. Kylo had started to speak a handful of times, but a quick glare from Hux had shut that idea down soon enough.

He was a little surprised at the sudden difference in Kylo. He didn’t know where the broody aashole he knew had gone, but this man certainly wasn’t him. It was a nice change seeing Kylo actually behaving for once, he had to admit .

Coming to a stop before the holo chamber doors, Hux looked at Kylo expectantly.

“I… look Hux, I really am very sorry. For everything. I know you don’t believe me or trust me and I can’t blame you as I never really gave you any reason to in the first place. But if you never believe anything else I ever say, then at least believe this. I never meant for any of this to happen and I don’t want you to leave.” Kylo said softly as he waved the door open.

Hux stepped inside and as the lights brightened, his mouth dropped as he took in the room before him.

Gone were the barren gray durasteel walls, now a soft, pale green. Sheer fabric, blue and shimmery, tumbled down from the ceiling to look like a waterfall along the walls. The dias where they used to hold meetings with Snoke now had a new feature-- a tree similar in style to the one in his former arboretum, but twice as large reaching from floor to ceiling, with branches stretching wall to wall and artistically winding through the fabric. Patches of thick green leaves and pale dry moss sprouted from random areas along the bark, tight clusters of bright red berries nestled in each little bed of leaves.

Grass that looked so real Hux almost couldn’t tell it was fake went from the base of the tree all the way to the first row of what used to be desks, now modified as planter holders and tables. The metal frames bent and warped to hold either heavy ceramic pots fast to the ground or arched up high to dangle trailing ivy and vines. One side of the room was filled with color, every single item Hux had himself grown in his little arbouretum was there filling the space. The other side of the room curiously blank of any growth. Just dirt filled pots and tools scattered along the tables, as if waiting to be used.

All but a single small pot that had a small plant in it growing strong and proud, with multiple security cameras surrounding it and a large white piece of still flimsy with the words ‘Do Not Touch Unless You Wish Death- signed Supreme Leader’, written in lovely curving script. There was even what looked to be a little wooden fence around it. 

“The apology took so long because it took me a while to get all of this done and find a copy of everything you had in your other arboretum. Two I almost couldn’t get. But I wanted it to be perfect. I know it’s not the same as what I took from you, but I hoped it would be a start at least,” Kylo explained as Hux continued to just stare.

“I don’t know what to say.” 

“You don’t have to say anything yet. I...there is still more to tell you but I wanted you to see this first, so you would know that I am sincere in my desire to make amends and to keep you at my side,” Kylo said quickly.

Hux turned to face Kylo and stared at his saddened eyes and felt some of the ice around his heart start to melt. 

“Again you say want, what’s changed? Why go and do all of this? This… this isn’t us. We fight, we hurt, we lick our wounds and then go about our day. You care nothing about--”

“I care about you,” Kylo interrupted.

For a second time in less than ten minutes Hux found himself at a loss.

“You… you what?” Hux choked out.

“I said I care about you. I always have. Snoke… let’s just say when I killed Snoke a lot of things became much clearer to me, well a few days after I killed Snoke. The first handful I didn’t know what I was doing most of the time. I was so out of control, it felt like a part of me had been ripped out and I felt lost and confused. But once I had time to center myself, I learned a lot of things. One of them was just how much I cared for you.”

“You expect me to believe that you care for me. After all the pain you caused me?’’ Hux asked.

“Pain we caused each other. Snoke pit us against each other to keep us from realizing just what we could be together and turning on him. A wise move on his part or he would have died that much sooner. But even then, I think I wanted you. I was intrigued by you and fascinated, but you infuriated me and Snoke fed that fury, assuring me that you would never think I was good enough to give me the attention I so desired. So I turned all my effort into hating you, it wasn’t hard with Snoke always in my ear and at least I still had your attention somehow,” Kylo admitted. 

Hux remained silent and simply watched Kylo as he stepped away and further into the room. A dark wraith like creature among the vibrant colors around him.

“After Starkiller, I felt hope for a little while that we could put all that behind us. After all, you had saved me, so surely there had to be some soft feelings there. I gave up when you told me that you were only following Snoke’s orders. I felt truly alone in that moment and I honestly wished you had not found me. At least then I would know some form of peace. And then Snoke chose to continue my training, and all I knew was pain until the Force link with that scavenger started. After so long with no one but Snoke… well, let’s say he knew what he was doing. 

“She was someone to talk to, to confide in. Someone that didn’t want to hurt me or use me. That was all I could see at the time. She could never be you, but at least a friend at my side would be better than nothing. And with Snoke so distracted by her… I knew it was my chance to finally get out from under his shadow, so I killed him,” Kylo murmured, eyes looking anywhere but at Hux.

“I knew you were lying,” Hux muttered.

“Let me finish Hux. When I killed him, I felt him die, felt a hole ripped into me where he used to be, had been since I was a young child. And then she betrayed me too, tossed me aside when I offered the Universe to her if she would only be at my side. Once again I wasn’t wanted. I wasn’t good enough to even have a friend, I was too tainted. So we fought, and she escaped and I awoke to you, ready to pull a blaster on me. I figured then if I couldn’t have anything else I would have your fear. I know I was irrational but I didn’t care. I didn’t want whatever excuse you would give me, I didn’t want...couldn’t stand to be hurt again so I lashed out and hurt you the only way I could. I can never forgive myself for what I did to you, but I can swear it will never happen again. If you stay or if you go, I will never raise my hand or the Force against you in anger again,” Kylo swore.

“You say that yet you still violated my trust and ruined my arboretum,” Hux pointed out, hands curling to fists at his sides. The choking had been bad enough, and he was still sore about being tossed about like a ragdoll in front of his men. But the destruction of the little space he had managed to carve out for himself was a more personal blow than anything else Kylo had ever done before it felt like. 

“I… that was… look that wasn’t supposed to happen. I thought you were meeting someone there for an affair. The thought of you with someone, anyone, drove me mad and I needed to be sure. So I altered the mouse droids so I could get a good audio and visual feed. I sent them in late that night and had them stay, I meant to see who you were meeting. If it was someone unworthy of you...well… it doesn’t matter. When you finally showed up you were alone and I could actually see what was in the room and could only watch as you cooed to that lizard of yours. Which I do beg you keep it away from me, feeling cut off from the Force as I do is very distressing,” Kylo said.

“Oh what a shame. No mystic powers like the rest of us mere mortals,” Hux cooed, each word dripping in obvious sarcasm.

“Regardless I was trying to sneak the droids out as you found them and I panicked. The amount of Force I was using to direct and guide them was not a small amount, so when I panicked, my focus slipped enough for me to lose control of them. That caused a small short in their systems, made them go haywire and well, you saw what happened after that.” Kylo admitted, a red flush spreading over his pale cheeks in obvious embarrassment. 

“You mean to tell me all that was because you were jealous? You really are a child,” Hux groaned, gloved fingertips rubbing circles at his temples to try and avoid the headache he could feel building. At the movement though, Mille squirmed and began trying to climb down from his shoulders, unhappy that her heater was moving without her permission. Hux set her gently on the ground and kept one eye on her and another on Kylo as she began to explore.

“I was raised to embrace my anger, my hate, and any other aspect of the darkside which would make me stronger. Keeping control of myself was never something Snoke bothered teaching me, only control over the Force. I am trying to learn to control myself on my own now, as well as make amends for all that I have ruined between us. But it will take me time,” Kylo responded. 

“Commendable.”

“Hux please. I spill myself to you. I try to at least start setting things right between us but you make it seem that my words fall on deaf ears.”

“I can hear you fine. I just don’t trust you. There is a lot of wrongdoing between us on both sides, you are right about that. And that means I can’t just throw caution aside and stick my neck out when I still fully expect you to tear my jugular out because I say or do something you don’t like,” Hux snapped, agitation beginning to show as he started pacing a short circuit through the room.

 

“What do I need to do then? Tell me what I have to do to earn, if not forgiveness, then at least a second chance.” Kylo pleaded. Moving to Hux, Kylo grabbed his gloved hands in his own, forcing Hux to stop pacing and face him. Waiting until Hux looked up at him, their eyes meeting and holding, Kylo sunk slowly to his knees. Letting everything he felt at that moment show on his face… in his eyes, as he stared up at Hux. “Anything you want is yours. I will build you a hundred gardens if you like, or hell one on every planet under First Order rule if that’s what you want. I will grant you the title of Grand Marshal, for fuck’s sake, I’ll step down from the roll of Supreme Leader and offer the title to you.”

For a moment there was only silence as the words faded, Hux looking down at Kylo, his eyes wide in shocked disbelief at Kylo’s offer and actions. Kylo practically held his breath as he waited for something, anything, from Hux.

“Let me go.” 

Kylo felt as if his heart was torn from his chest and thrown to the floor before being ground under Hux's boots. Despite the pain, he had sworn to give Hux what he had asked for and did just that, releasing Hux's hands before sitting back on his heels and lowering his eyes to the durasteel floor. He had known it would be a long shot, but at least he had tried. 

He kept his head down as he felt Hux move away from him, heard him wander around the room a bit. He struggled to keep himself from lashing out as anger and loss drowned him. He had promised Hux he wouldn't hurt him again, even if he left, and he was going to do everything he could to keep his word.

“You're really serious aren't you?”

Kylo dragged his eyes away from the dull gray floor and up to meet pretty pale blue. “More than anything.”

“Why wait until now to tell me all this? All these years and you kept silent. Now you decide to bare yourself to me, because why? You hurt me? Tell me the truth. Why are you so desperate for me to forgive you?” Hux asked quietly. 

Coming to his feet, Kylo stepped closer to Hux, grateful when the General didn't flinch or move away from him. How he wished he could access the Force right now. This would all be so much easier if he could get a firmer sense of how Hux was feeling about everything. 

“Because I have nothing else to lose,” Kylo admitted.

“What?” 

“I have nothing else Hux. I thought the animosity between us was all I could have so I clung tight to it, it was the only constant I have left in my life. And you, the only person still at my side. Then I hurt you, worse than I ever had before, I honestly wasn't even trying to upset you, I was just being selfish. Trying to make myself feel better I suppose. I told myself you were hiding a weapon or something from me. One you could use against me so you could take my place. But honestly, I thought you were meeting someone for a tryst and the very idea that you were with someone, anyone, when you had never even looked my way drove me a little further into madness. 

“So I did what I did. And when you came to me and threw your resignation in my face… it hit me right then that I really would be truly alone if you left. I decided I would tell you everything, give you anything. I had nothing else to lose. If I did nothing, you would leave and if I failed, you would leave. If doing this for you and telling you the truth of how I feel about you would allow me to earn your forgiveness and have you remain at my side, it was a small price to pay.” Kylo said, his voice low and soft, gloved hand reaching out as if to grasp Hux's once more before aborting the movement and dropping it to the side.

Hux closed his eyes and turned away from from Kylo for several seconds before turning back to him and fixing him in place with hard stare. “Say I forgive you and retain my place here, what if I don't return your feelings? What then?”

“I've kept to myself this long, if you don't want me in that way, I will accept whatever limitations you wish in regards to all future interaction between us,” Kylo responded quickly. He was ready to agree with anything Hux wanted at this point. 

“One chance,” Hux whispered after a moment of silence.

Kylo's eyes widened, mouth parting in surprise as he stared at Hux. “One chance at what exactly? Forgiveness? More?” 

Hux took a deep breath and held it for a few beats, and exhaling shakily,heart reached out and grabbed Kylo by his robes and pulling him in. Their lips meeting in a rough, clumsy kiss, before Hux pulled back and looked up at Kylo. “One chance at earning my forgiveness and proving I’m not a fool for believing in your words. I’ve loved you for a long time Kylo, but if you ever hurt me again, I swear that I will leave and be so well hidden even your Force abilities won’t be able to help you find me again.”

“Love?” Kylo breathed. He had hoped for nothing more than for Hux to give him a chance, never in his wildest dreams had he dared to consider Hux could love him… not yet anyway.

“You really never once read my mind in all the years we have worked together?” Hux asked curiously. 

“It was forbidden to me by Snoke. You were off limits to me, it’s one of the many things that had me so fascinated by you. I could get an occasional brush of your emotions but it was almost always anger or sadness around me. If I had known…” Kylo whispered.

“What’s done is done, the only thing we can learn from the past is not to repeat it. We have a chance to do something with what we have learned about each other, so instead of wallowing in what could have been. Why don’t we focus on the future and what we can do together know?” Hux asked obviously trying to change the subject to avoid the ‘could have, would have’ thoughts that would fill their minds. 

Kylo’s knew the grin that spread over his face then most likely resembled a kid’s on Life Day but he found he couldn’t care. Surging forward, Kylo wrapped his arms tight around Hux and held him close while he buried his face in the soft skin of Hux’s throat. “I love you too.” Lips pressed the words into the flesh and Kylo delighted in the shiver that went through Hux.

Loosening his hold and leaning up, he brushed his lips gently over Hux’s in soft barely there kisses. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me yet. It won’t be easy to be with me, in private or public.” Hux murmured, eyes still closed as they rested their foreheads against each other. His own arms sliding up Kylo’s arms and over shoulders to link behind his neck and hold on, slender finger tugging gently at long soft hair.

“I never thought it would. We can work this all out together. For now though, just let me enjoy being with you. Let me give you the gift I spent the last two months on and let me stay near.” Kylo almost pleaded.

“Alright show me my new arboretum then. I find myself intrigued by the small little sprout I see on the far wall with the camera trained on it. Perhaps a good place to start?” Hux asked, a small smile turning up the corners of his lips as he pulled away. Though he grasped Kylo’s hand and held tight to it as Kylo nodded eagerly and led him over to his pride and joy.

“When I started this I lifted all the images I had managed to capture from the mouse droids before I lost control of them. I filled this place with a copy of every plant you had in the other arboretum. During the two months when I had others making sure everything was transported, placed, or grown correctly I decided I wanted to try and grow something myself. I was… not very successful as gardening is not something I have ever learned. So one of techs gave me a mature plant, this one, and told me even I couldn’t kill it and it would bloom in a few weeks if I took care of it. They were right!” Kylo couldn’t hide his excitement as they came to a stop before the flower.

Hux barely needed a second to look at the thick green stalk and the white puffy head before he burst out laughing. “So you decided to put security on it to make sure nothing happened to it? Oh, Kylo.”

“What? I wanted it to stay safe so I could show it to you. I know its a little plain and not as impressive as some of the other specimens you have in your collection, but I had hoped you would at least be a little pleased that I tried to help personally. I was able to keep it alive for two weeks so far and the bloom only started three days ago.” Kylo pouted. He hadn’t expected that Hux would laugh at him for his efforts.

“That’s not… I’m sorry Kylo. I shouldn’t have laughed, but… did the tech tell you what kind of...flower… this is?” Hux asked, getting control of himself, though the smile still remained despite his best efforts.

“No. Just that it would be hard to kill and bloom for a while,” Kylo said defensively.

“Well they weren't wrong about that. This is a Dandelion, a weed, incredibly hard to kill despite how delicate and cute it looks. Not something one generally wants in a garden no matter it’s size.” Hux explained as gently as he could. Last thing he wanted right now was to upset Kylo over it.

“Why would they have me grow something like this then? What if it hurts your plants? I didn’t mean to bring anything in here that would…”

“It’s alright Kylo. I think they were just trying to help you since you hadn’t had any luck with anything else. And if you’d like… I do believe I would enjoy teaching you about plants and gardening if you are agreeable to that,” Hux said.

“I would love that! But this... if it’s a weed…”

“May I show you what a dandelion is good for? It will mean messing it up though,” Hux asked, letting go of Kylo’s hand and moving it to trace the stem of the weed.

“It’s yours, everything in here is yours. Do as you please with it,” Kylo offered. He was annoyed that he had been given a weed of all thing to plant in here, but if Hux wasn’t upset then he could get over it. Though he was mighty tempted to go hunt down that tech and give him nightmares for a month. 

“Everything huh?” Hux asked, one fine red eyebrow arched high as he stared at Kylo.

“Yes.” Kylo said meeting those pretty blue eyes dead on. Everything included himself and he would make sure Hux would never doubt that.

“I like that. Anyway, there used to be a silly little thing about dandelions, this was many many years ago, long before even the Empire was around. You would pluck one up,” as he spoke, Hux broke the stalk swiftly and brought the white puff ball up between them. “And you would make a wish before blowing on it gently. Tell me, do you have a wish?”

“I did. But you have already granted me the only thing I want. To wish for your attention and affection now seems a bit overkill,” Kylo answered immediately. It was the truth though, he had Hux, what more could he ever want?

Hux couldn’t help the warmth that spread through him at those words. To be so wanted felt amazing and he knew that such a feeling was one he would quickly become addicted to.

“I suppose it’s the same for me. Wishing for love when I already have it… how about something a bit more private then,” Hux murmured before blowing gently on the puff of white. A laugh pulled from him by the startled look on Kylo’s face as they watched little white specks float lazily about as they drifted to the floor slowly.

“What did you wish for?” Kylo asked.

“That you would kiss me again,” Hux admitted hesitantly, as if afraid he would be denied.

“A wish I will happily grant,” Kylo breathed, leaning in to kiss Hux once more. The feel of his lips, soft and slightly chapped sliding against Kylo’s made his head spin. A soft moan sounding as the kiss deepend and his hands began to wander over a slim waist then up Hux’s back, pulling him closer. Their bodies pressed together from chest to pelvis and Kylo gasped as his hardening erection rubbed against Hux’s own. 

“I think I have a wish Hux,” Kylo moaned as he trailed down Hux’s jaw and over to a spot just below his ear. His teeth nipping at the sensitive area.

“Oh? What do you wish for?” Hux groaned, shivering as heat licked down his spine from Kylo’s mouth on his skin. It felt even better than his dreams.

“A large bed and at the very least several uninterrupted hours to spend with you,” Kylo growled.

“Well, you did grant me my wish. Come with me and let’s see about doing the same with yours,” Hux breathed. 

Hux pulled away and took hold of Kylo’s hand once again and began pulling him to the door. Scooping up Millie on the way, laughing at Kylo’s frustrated look as he glared at the lizard. This was honestly the last thing he had expected to happen this night when Kylo had come to him in his quarters. He was still a little scared that this would all be taken from him, that Kylo would be unable to keep his word, it would take time for enough trust to build up to remove that fear completely. But he was willing to spend a lifetime doing just that and if the look of love shining in those warm brown eyes was any indication, Kylo was just as happy to do the same.

 

[Image 2](https://66.media.tumblr.com/f89db22ad85a03a97e0372b8c14c68da/tumblr_inline_pffp6hjRhD1r58wx9_1280.gif)

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to come chat with me anytime over on Tumblr  
> [Magicandmalice](http://magicandmalice.tumblr.com/)


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